At a conference I recently attended, I went to a session on SEO (Search Engine Optimization). The speaker asked all of us if we were writing blogs, and no one raised their hands. He was dumbfounded. As it turns out, if you don’t have a blog, you don’t exist on the internet.
I found this ironic, as it seems like everyone has a blog but no one really reads blogs. So you have to have something that nobody reads in order for Google to find your website?
As it turns out, you must have a blog because Google is searching your sites for keywords that can be igeniously hidden in blogs. So really, you don’t need to write a logical, rational, informational blog that people read to learn about things – you just need to have paragraphs of keyword to trick Google.
Hence, I am here. Enjoying a glass of wine. Writing my blog. To get you, Google, to find me. Therefore, I will be writing to you, my non-human computer friend, to help you lead people to my website.
And now the plot is thickening! As I read the first half of my first blog to my wife, she suggested that I read the blog to my phone out loud to create a video, to upload to YouTube so that people can watch that and then link to our website! I don’t think she gets it, Google. I tried to explain that humans won’t ever see a word of this, that it is all for you. You can’t watch videos – not yet, right? Once I find out that you can, I promise I will read to you.
Oh – by the way – print. Let’s talk about it. I am going to teach you everything I know about direct mail, signs and banners, brochures, postcards, and even business cards. I realize you don’t need those things; but we must discuss them. Because in real life, people do need these things. And my job is to help them get them.
To be continued, my good friend…